Travel is Hell

For those of you on the facebook (or speed dial on my cell) you've probably heard all this already.

The day I left for Orlando started out bad and only got worse.

The night before I dreamt about puking and then the next day while I was walking the Brompton we almost actually walked through puke!

When I got to airlines parking, there was NOWHERE to park! I am way back against the back fence where I am sure I saw a Morlock eyeing me from the woods!

When I got to the airport, the line to check bags was a mile long! Was it a Columbus Day sale on flights? Then I discovered I was in the wrong line after about ten minutes of waiting. I moved to a shorter line, but this one wasn't moving at all. Only one person checking people in and her computer wasn't working!

Finally I get my bag checked (just discovered they gave me the wrong person's receipt, hopefully I still get reimbursed for that!) and security was a breeze since I left my laptop at home. I check the boards and see my gate is A68. Board the train, get there and see the departure from A68 is NOT my departure. I check the boards again. Gate is now A12! Board the train again, get to the gate. Do not have time to get some food. Nothing nearby appeals to me. I'll get something in Orlando. We land at 6:17pm, dinnertime!

Get on the plane. No one near me speaks any English. German beside me. Japanese behind me. Can't tell if they're talking about me or not.

We sit for 20 minutes. Captain finally tells us there is a safety light issue but it should be fixed shortly. I watch as they load a large box into the cargo hold labeled "Human Remains." Whee.

30 minutes later, its fixed. We back away from the gate and hear 6 loud booms. We go back to the gate and hear the turbines have stalled. Better on the ground than in the air. But we sit for another hour and a half when they finally tell us the plane is fixed but we have to get off now because the crew is over work time and we need a new crew. My phone is ringing off the hook. One is Curt from Charlie's Talent asking if I can come in on Wednesday and read for the role of a flight attendant. I tell him I am already living the dream, baby. And also I can't make Wednesday. Wah wah.

Finally we get back on the plane an hour after we should have arrived in Orlando. Back on board we wait another hour before we can leave because the plane loses power four times! Should we even fly on this plane?! Is the dead person messing with us? We take off close to 8pm and arrive at around 10:40pm. I watch as they unload a puppy from the cargo hold and cry a little for the poor guy having been down there so long. I vow never to take a pet on an airplane if I can help it.

We rush to baggage claim. I haven't eaten anything since 11am and I am shaking and cranky. We wait 20 minutes at the only working baggage claim. Suddenly people are casually saying our baggage is on the other side of the building. No formal announcement is made over the PA for another 5 minutes. I rush because the hotel shuttle is waiting for me.

Luckily I get there just as my bag is going by and I rush to the shuttle. The driver tells us we are waiting for one more passenger. We wait 15 more minutes. Then we ask if the passenger we are waiting for might not be the guy who had been standing in front of the shuttle since before we got there. It was! Sigh...

We get to the hotel and I check in quickly. The clerk asks me for my credit card for "incidentals, I guess." Then he gives me a bag of treats for being a rewards customer!

I see Sammy is yelling at his clerk. It turns out they are charging us for our rooms! Not incidentals! The whole room!

We explain over and over again that we were with Chrylser but it didn't matter. We try to call our manager but she wasn't answering her phones! It is now midnight. I am starving and tired. I tell Sammy just put your room on my card. He says no. This is ridiculous. I ask the clerk to get the manager.

We explain to the manager. Manager eventually gives in but says he will "come and find us" if we were lying about Chrysler paying for our rooms. We say, "you do that."

Do people try to steal rooms at the Mariott like that often?

Sammy and I plan to walk across the street to TGIFridays, but his room key doesn't work. Finally we get to Fridays (told the next morning there was a gator in the pond we walked so close to in the pitch black!) and it takes 20 minutes for our orders.

I get back to my room and open my suitcase. My conditioner had exploded...sigh...clean that up. Now I am too nauseous to eat, so I just put the food in the fridge and turn the light out at 2am, without the shower I so desperately needed. I had to be downstairs and miked by 8am!

The morning audience was awesome. Good thing or we wouldn't have survived 6 hrs of meetings.

The next day we get to the Orlando airport. Hurray! Curbside check in and Southwest doesn't charge to check bags! Boo! Security takes me aside and pats me down throroughly. The lady could've at least complimented me while she did that.

I make it to the gate a couple of hours early so I can buy a soda and a magnet.

Southwest doesn't have assigned seats so you just grab the first seat that appeals to you. I sat next to a friendly golfer from Maryland. I saw beautiful ocean water and maybe even a whale! I was invigorated by the comfortable flight.

We get to the bag claim. Everyone's bags arrive. Except mine. I was the FIRST to check my bag in!

My manager finds a rep who takes my info and promises to have my bag delivered to the hotel. I don't believe them, of course.

The rest of the team is antsy to leave without me. They wanna eat and go to the pool. I want to cry.

We rush to the hotel, check in. I have a two room suite all to myself. Why would I need THREE sinks?!

I wander around the beautiful hotel.

I call the airline. They have no way of tracking my bag. But I could have it by 7pm! It isn't even 11:30am!

I go to lunch with the technical producer. My phone rings. My bag is here! It had definitely been rifled through, but nothing seems to be missing.

I go to my room and watch GET SMART, the movie. I laughed out loud. I did.

I go down for happy hour with the gang. Apparently all well drinks are FREE from 5:30 to 7! The gang is anxious to see the prude get drunk. They got their wish. After four zins, the stool I was on was way too tall for my liking.

We take off to get some Cuban food. I can eat none of it, but it was tasty! My stomach just wouldn't allow the extra customers in at that time.

I fall asleep back at the room and wake up the next morning with a bit of a headache. My manager loads me up on aspirin. I make it through the 6 hrs of meetings and impress everyone with how much free food I shove into my craw. They think I never eat! Ha! They just don't know me!

We get to the airport to go home. This flight appears to be delayed due to a police situation on board the incoming plane. But somehow, leaving late, we still arrive in Detroit early!

I am so glad to be home, but know I will be doing it all again Monday when I leave for Atlanta. Course, this trip will be better, cause I get to hang out with Laura on Monday night!!!!

Wish me safe travels, please!

security makes me insecure

So I am in the midst of my first week of travel and I know for a fact I will NOT be bringing the laptop with me for the rest of the month! I never realized how complicated going through security is when you're traveling alone.
Balancing my ID and boarding pass, I need to remove my laptop from my tightly packed bag, my jacket, my shoes, my belt (and try to hold my pants up sans belt), place my phone and my "carry on allowed liquids" in yet another bin. Plus my bag AND my gament bag!
Once I am scanned, I get to the end of security, put my laptop back in my overstuffed bag, my liquids, put my shoes back on, my belt, my jacket...now where the hell is my ID and boarding pass?! On the ground on the other side of security?!
Got em...wheres my friggin phone now?!

I never realized how much my husband helped me as I did this ridiculous balancing act before...no more...taking the laptop out of the equation...Belt can't be helped...unless I go with my paint covered sweatpants that make my ass look big...tomorrow i don't have that luxury...i have to go to the airport in my suit! Guh! I am gonna need to pick up some dryel if i am flying in that suit! I am really stressed about getting on the flight home tomorrow...meeting ends at 4pm, my flight is at 6pm...i shoulda just stayed the extra night...

I ended up having to spend most of my per diem on room service the first night in Dallas...nothing in walking distance from the hotel...
Tonight, in Houston I will probably walk to the Jack in the Box or the Taco Bell or something...

I am still nauseous from the bumpy flight from Dallas to Houston...I can still feel it...which is why I haven't completely devoured my fresh warm doubletree chocolate chip cookie yet...

3 more weeks of stressful security scrutinization...I don't like this one bit...it takes too long for one thing...i have missed a flight before because of security shenanigans...

Its really early...not even 3pm here and I am considering going to bed already!!!!

The shows I do out here don't bother me at all...its the getting to and from them that is the major to do.

Got a big "Thanks but no thanks" for the Bravo tv movie I rushed around to audition for . The guy left me a message that I retrieved just as I landed in Houston. I am so used to hearing "no" but it still sucks...I worked so hard for it. I am watching all the people I am working with booking jobs left and right...no one wants to work with a red head with a big butt, I guess...I will have to continue to produce my own movies just to get work!!! Sigh...how self serving...

I need a nap...

Grateful for friends who have my back

So, I unfortunately had to give up a fun trip to Traverse City with the MMP gang (and my husband and I were going to extend it through tuesday for a vacation to the UP). But lucky for me, Mary and Karey have my back filling in where I can't. I hope they take lots of pictures for me. I was really looking forward to that trip.

But instead I am interrupting Chrysler dealership meetings for the entire month of October. I am supposed to call to arrange my own flights, however, no one answered when I called. I left a message, but I have a feeling they won't call back and I will have to do this on a lunch break or something away from my computer and all the important loyalty awards numbers I hope get applied to all this travel.

I haven't flown alone since I was 18. And even then someone at least drove me to and from the airport. I have a feeling I am completely on my own here. My travel partner will be flying in and out of Grand Rapids.

I am more nervous about making flights and figuring out my transport to and from airports than anything...I hate not being totally prepared for details like that. And being alone makes it harder. I wish I could at least fly first class and have that to look forward to. I've never flown first class. Maybe to Ireland...

I leave for Texas on Monday, I believe. I have to be at the hotel by Monday afternoon. Hopefully I can get home by Thursday nights most of these weeks. And hopefully this will go by quickly.

We have been warned that our audiences will have a chip on their shoulders and may be sensitive to any improv jokes. Wah wah. Sounds like fun.

Also, we have to do 4 skits per meeting, two meetings a day each meeting running about 3 hrs each...wow...I doubt we'll have any down time. But meh, I would probably spend my downtime in my room ordering room service anyway.

I found out my scene partner and I are both Geminis...both born on June 2nd! Too weird! He may be fun, unfortunately I won't be sharing flights with him...just scenes and thats it...

I will have to figure out a way to make this a fun experience for me. But I am such a worrier. Maybe after the first week is done, I will get used to this. We are going to fun cities.
Dallas, TX. Houston, TX. Orlando, FL. Ft Lauderdale, FL. Atlanta, GA. Charlotte, NC. Memphis, TN and New Orleans, LA.

Maybe Jeff should come down to New Orleans and we can extend that into our vacation! That could be fun!

I just hope everything is okay.
The outfits they picked for me that I brought...I tried them on at home...they're a little tight. Better not do any stress eating before the trips begin!!!!!

On the road...again?

So, tomorrow begins a month of travel for work. Tomorrow I head to Grand Rapids. Crashing with Shirls and Tony before I film all day in Portland on Saturday, then Sunday morning I have an audition in Grand Rapids, rush to Sterling Heights for Osiris filming and prepare to start training for my new job traveling as a customer care "improv actor" for Chrysler. I think its Chrysler. Whoever it is is using a LOT of bailout money to make the month of October very lucrative for me.

Now, I am a huge fan of travel. It is fun to visit new places. But doing it alone makes me very nervous. And I don't even know where I am going or when yet. That makes me even more nervous. If I knew where I was going and when, maybe I could get excited to go see friends in these different states on my down time. I wonder if I will have down time.

Its very typical of clients not to book talent, nor give them info about their job until the very last minute. Mary made a good point that actors are thought of as "little dollies that they can take off the shelf whenever they feel like it." All we do is wait by our cell phones in our little hovels waiting desperately for "that call." We don't really need to make money, which is why we work for free so often. We don't have any other job but to audition and wait. And get new headshots taken every 6 months.

I am a little excited about all this travel. But I would be more excited if someone I knew was coming with me. Driving to and from the airport alone is depressing. But alas, this is the life I chose. And once October is over, it will be back to the Brainstormers van for me.

At least they tell me where I am going and with who well ahead of time...

Le Sigh

Well, even though I was stressed out looking forward to what my day was to be yesterday, I was excited, because it was finally full of opportunities. It had gotten to the point that I needed to wikipedia the word "audition" it had been so long since I had heard it. Monday, I had THREE auditions plus a rehearsal.

A normal day for Jacquie is walking the dog, writing and playing Bejeweled. So, I was just trying to figure out how I was going to make all four of my appoinments for the day. Then, I started thinking what will I do if I get all the projects I am auditioning for and all the work I would have to do to make the schedule work.

I got to my first audition of the day (one of two voice overs, because people see me walking down the street and say, "Damn! She should be on the radio!"). That audition panned into two more auditions. One of which I had to turn down because it shot on Friday and I am already booked for three Brainstormers shows that day. But I will do the audition on thursday that could put me on the road for the whole month of october.

The second audition was for another radio ad that I really didn't think I fit, but the guy running it was extremely impressed with my speed and articulation for the disclaimer portion. He said very few people do that in this market and its possibly a niche market I could get into. Neat. I am the female Micro Machines/Fed Ex dude.

Then I ran home, walked the dog, ate some rice and ice cream cake and went to BS rehearsal. We booked through that and I hurried to the Rep so I could get in early and read the script before the audition. I got there at 5:30pm. No one was there to let me in until 7pm. My audition was at 7:30pm. Needless to say I didn't get to read the script, despite my efforts. I was only allowed to read for a quadriplegic amnesiac. Once. Needless to say I got the call today that basically said, "Thanks, but no thanks." I am used to that call. Oh. SO. Used to that call. But it still makes me puke a little each time I get it.

Also. I know I didn't get the first audition of the day from yesterday because it is recording right now as I type. With whom, I couldn't tell you, but it isn't me or Jeff.

The second audition, I just didn't fit, so I am pretty sure I didn't get that either. And the voice over for the big puppet movie has apparently already called everyone, too. So, that ship has sailed.

I am nauseated with being forced to stick with the status quo in my life. Despite the scratching and struggling I've been doing. I've been at this damn career since I was 8 and I haven't the strength to quit. Even though all the signs and casting agents are waving at me to do just that. I can't.

But forgive me if I am a little angry with myself for having blown four auditions in one week. I may have to curl into a little ball and be sad for a few days, my friends.

To clarify

VERY much in love with my husband!
He takes very good care of me and I KNOW he loves me. (I love him more, but I am kookoo bananas about the love thing)

I just miss the courtship sometimes. But he really stepped up his game this holiday weekend...

He made me feel beautiful and special and young every chance he got...and right now he's sitting in the rain grilling me up some corn and hot dogs! Not quite corn dogs, but SO much better!

...its almost as if he reads this blog or something...

Nah! No one reads THIS blog!

Adrift in Matrimony

Any of you married folk out there understand how that feels?

Its like, when you were dating/engaged an effort was made to see you. An effort was made to make you happy and comfortable. But married, its okay to ignore your spouse. You can talk to them or see them tomorrow. After all, you friggin LIVE together, right?

Course, my married life is slightly different, too. I have a husband who has a stupid day job, PLUS weekend and evening performances. We're lucky to have dinner together once a month. I look forward to holidays just to spend time with the man. Perhaps that is why I have suggested we take one Christmas and spend it in Hawaii. Then I won't have to share him with family, too. I am greedy, I know.

Sometimes I wish we were a normal couple, not an artistic couple. We go to work, come home, have dinner and spend time together.

But the fleeting moments we have together are all business. And if I am upset about something, there's no time to deal with emotion. Its wasting precious business time.

I will NEVER miss being single. Being single SUCKED. Single means, never really trusting the intentions behind any male statement or action. True, being married can sometimes mean that, too. But only if you're in the wrong marriage. I trust all of my husband's actions and statements. I just wish more of them were laced with "I love you"s. We should never be too busy for that.

I often feel like, maybe I would hear those "I love you"s more if I were prettier...No, that's stupid. Look at the bikini model who just got chopped up by her husband the reality tv star. She was hot, and even that didn't protect her. In fact, that probably added to her demise with a sicko like that.

Then I think, what if I made more money? Yeah, that would probably work, because he could relax more. Unfortunately, its hard for me to get work/money. And my struggles to do so, well they make me upset and he doesn't like hearing about it.

What if I were a better housekeeper? HA! When would he be home to even notice that?

At this point, I think the only way I would hear "I love you" more from my husband would be if we won the lottery. And if I didn't win, he would be mad I wasted the money.

Fuckin' money.