Saturday, July 18, 2009

Deep Down I am Still Shy

At the Griffin wedding reception last night, I realized at the heart of my soul, I am still a very shy person...I could only do so much mingling before I got uncomfortable and thought that I was imposing my personality on people and I should probably back off...
It's weird, because I know I put on a good show of being sociable. I just can't keep going that long. Its just like in Tony & Tina's Wedding. I am so grateful the show is over that I need to book out of there ASAP. I have socialized so long, my brain is buzzing.
Then there's Jeff. He thrives off of socializing. He is a huge flirt and everyone loves him at a party. And I get sad because I am so far away from that energy and I cannot penetrate that circle I feel left out.
Perhaps I am a writer at heart. Thomas Pinchon.
If I show up at a party, I will be the one with the paper bag over my head.

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