Current mood: melancholy
But then I didn't get the positive phone calls I was hoping for/expecting (ie. you're hired!) and I got 3 rejection letters for my plays! I haven't had a W in my column since I got those two back to back commercials. (One of which I still haven't been paid for and the other you never see me in anyway!)
I am starting to lose faith in myself...again! Why is it so easy to lose faith in yourself in this industry?
Well, when you see the same 4 people getting the work you've been scratching for for years, that helps.
I KNOW its not because I am not talented. That is the one thing I have complete faith in. But I have come to the conclusion that, with the way I appear now...even 20-30lbs thinner...I am extremely difficult to cast. I just look "off". Not "weird". "Weird" gets you work, baby. I just don't look "marketable."
You either need to be "hot" or "weird" looking. I am neither. So, unless I make my own projects, my Ws are few and far between flukes.
I don't want my working to be a fluke. So, who has a suggestion to make my appearance more marketable? Tyra Banks, give me a makeover! Cuz right now, I am almost too sad to get out of bed and jump rope!