Monday, February 8, 2010
Story of My Life
So, I had an audition I felt pretty good about. I was starting to consider myself the "Heather Locklear" of car companies after my successful run with Chrysler in October.
I read for Toyota, pretty confident I was doing a bang up job. Knowing I was pretty strong in my improv skills...but I saw that Lise Lacasse was on the list too and it was over for me. Sigh.
So, here I remain. I got an email from TSPP telling me I was the director's SECOND choice...So, I will think positively and hope that the Chicago auto show goes well and maybe they will call for a second cast to finish off the auto show season. Auto show money is stupid good. And we got new carpet AND a new roof and I want a new laptop!
But my mom always reminded me of how throughout school...say they needed 3 representatives for the school spelling bee...I would be number 4. If they needed 2 for the track meet, I would be 3. Its the story of my life, being an also ran.
I try really hard to stay positive...and as often as you see me fail, you can SEE I am trying REALLY HARD.
But I am sick of being Mr. Cellophane.
I want my turn. I do. I always was positive about my career or I would have stopped auditioning long ago. I was auditioning the DAY before my cancer surgery...hoping the good karma would pay off...nope. I auditioned a week after my cancer surgery...nothing.
I have zero karma. I am Ms Status Quo. Nothing changes for the better or the worst. I name this the "lifetime of the meh."
I really would like some guidance as to what my purpose is, other than bitching. Cause I am getting tired of that...I want to have some awesome news for once.
Any one out there with an over abundance of good karma? Wanna shove a smidgen my way.
I want to be proud of myself. I want to make my family proud.
But right now all I have going is "I have forseen my death. It is at the bottom of a Brainstormers gig rig."