Monday, February 8, 2010

Story of My Life

So, I had an audition I felt pretty good about.  I was starting to consider myself the "Heather Locklear" of car companies after my successful run with Chrysler in October.

I read for Toyota, pretty confident I was doing a bang up job.  Knowing I was pretty strong in my improv skills...but I saw that Lise Lacasse was on the list too and it was over for me.  Sigh.

So, here I remain.  I got an email from TSPP telling me I was the director's SECOND choice...So, I will think positively and hope that the Chicago auto show goes well and maybe they will call for a second cast to finish off the auto show season.  Auto show money is stupid good.  And we got new carpet AND a new roof and I want a new laptop!

But my mom always reminded me of how throughout school...say they needed 3 representatives for the school spelling bee...I would be number 4.  If they needed 2 for the track meet, I would be 3.  Its the story of my life, being an also ran.

I try really hard to stay positive...and as often as you see me fail, you can SEE I am trying REALLY HARD.

But I am sick of being Mr. Cellophane.

I want my turn.  I do.  I always was positive about my career or I would have stopped auditioning long ago.  I was auditioning the DAY before my cancer surgery...hoping the good karma would pay off...nope.  I auditioned a week after my cancer surgery...nothing.

I have zero karma.  I am Ms Status Quo.  Nothing changes for the better or the worst.  I name this the "lifetime of the meh."

I really would like some guidance as to what my purpose is, other than bitching.  Cause I am getting tired of that...I want to have some awesome news for once. 

Any one out there with an over abundance of good karma?  Wanna shove a smidgen my way.

I want to be proud of myself.  I want to make my family proud.

But right now all I have going is "I have forseen my death.  It is at the bottom of a Brainstormers gig rig."

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