Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Perhaps I have been going about this wrong

Current mood:  hopeful
I get so frustrated and upset with myself because no one seems to notice me or the hard work I have been putting into my career since I was 8 years old.

I immediately jump to the conclusion because one idiot director told me years ago to "get a mirror, get a life" that I never win because I am fat and ugly.

But perhaps I have been going about this the wrong way. 

Perhaps the desire for awards, kudos and more auditions is just wrong. 

Perhaps I should just be happy that I get to do what I love at all.  Some people don't even get that much.

Perhaps I should be happy that there really has never been a review out there slamming me or my appearance.  That in itself should be a win.

Perhaps trophies and prestige ISN'T what its all about.

What I need to learn is to take the little pats on the back I get from friends and make them soul trophies.  Make that the only thing that matters.  Because otherwise I am just a little black rain cloud on the world and my own career.

Its hard.  Especially when everyone else seems to get the actual awards, kudos and auditions.  But, changing a mindset never was easy...

Back to THE FOUR AGREEMENTS, I guess....

The Four Agreements®

The Four Agreements
1. Be Impeccable With Your Word
Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

2. Don't Take Anything Personally
Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.

3. Don't Make Assumptions
Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

4. Always Do Your Best
Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

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